Update! We Have a Social Worker!

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The paperwork is in (well, all but one thing) and Dean and I have been given a social worker! We have taken the next step. I am very excited but also extremely nervous about what is to come. Here is why:

Now that Dean and I have a social worker, we will be setting up interview times and a home inspection. Please keep us in prayer. I am very nervous about the interviews. We were told that during these interviews we will have to present proof of openness, knowledge, understanding, resources, etc. for a child of every race and disability that we are open to parenting.  This is somewhat intimidating, since you know, I have no idea how to parent ANY child regardless of race or disability.

I’ve been doing some research on transracial adoptions and I must say that that alone has me shaking me in my boots. I truly believe God is calling us to parent a child of a different race, but that is not knowledge enough for an agency. There is so much that can go “wrong” and I never ever want my child to feel like he or she doesn’t belong, or that I couldn’t provide for him or her. Trying to prove my worth and ability is a huge trigger for me. A trigger that can send me reeling with anxiety and fear. I have spent two years combatting my need to prove myself only to end up here. It’s not a coincidence, it is a gift from God. He keeps telling me, “I got this.”

Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

This is an opportunity for me to witness that God really does have this in His control. I need to let God transform my thoughts from “If I don’t prove myself, I will not get the child God has chosen for us” to “God has got this. He knows our child and He knows us, and nothing I do is beyond God’s repair and provision.”

But how do I discern what is necessary and what is me just trying to control everything? OH! I just heard something, “Do you think I will not let you know when you are trying to control a situation beyond your control? My dear Elizabeth, my radiant one, what is it you fear?”

“I fear imperfection. I am so scared I will mess this up.”

“I’ve got this, nothing you do is beyond my repair and provision. Trust me.”

“Okay, God. I trust you.”