I haven’t written an update, because, well, I’ve been basking in the sunny spot on the floor. What am I talking about? Well, figuratively speaking, I am a dog. The infertility journey is my house. It’s not a bad house, it’s actually a beautiful house, but I’ve spent much of this journey wishing I was outside.
Outside where the sun shines bright. Outside where I can find a sunny spot and bask in it from dawn ‘til dusk. Are you getting this? Outside is my metaphor for the ability to have babies. Outside is pregnancy. Outside is children that look like me and Dean. But, I am in this house. I am in this house called infertility and I am powerless to change it.
That may sound like a bleak way of looking at my life. It’s not, because when I stopped focusing on what was outside and started focusing on what was inside, I realized that there is this sunny spot that moves across the floor.
As a dog, I find rest in the warmth of that sun, but the thing is, it doesn’t always stay put. As the sun moves across the sky, my warm sunny spot also moves, and if I want to continue basking, I need to get up and move to the new spot. Sometimes that spot is small and short lived.
Sometimes, like on rainy days, the sunny spot doesn’t show up, and sometimes it’s next to an ill-placed piece of furniture.
But sometimes it’s huge and bright and warm and right there in the middle of that giant pile of soft laundry.
But regardless of what type of day it is, I have to keep my focus on my circumstances. If I spend too much time looking out my shaded front window wishing I was out in the yard with the sun, I miss the warm morning light streaming through the back window. I miss the luxury of my own circumstances.
You see the adoption journey is that sunny spot. That spot has been moving around pretty quickly, getting smaller, and turning up in very uncomfortable places, but it’s been there. And this past week my warm, sunny spot was huge, warm, and right there in the middle of the clean laundry pile. Nothing…nothing, would keep me from enjoying this. Not even giving you, my beautiful readers, an update. But I’ve soaked up my sun and I’m ready to share.
On Thursday, September 24th, our social worker, Chelsea* came to our house for our final home study interview and home inspection. I had been praying nonstop for two days leading up to that moment. Surprisingly, this interview and inspection was the chilliest of them all. We chatted easily with Chelsea, even when the questions weren’t easy.
“Let’s imagine your child comes from a culture where the main religion is not Christianity. For example, let’s imagine your child’s birth parents are Muslim. Your child is now in high school and wants to explore other religions outside of Christianity, specifically, Islam. How will you react?”
It’s hard to answer these questions without knowing your child yet, although I imagine the basic reaction will always be the same. I will love my child no matter what. Of course I would pray and hope my child comes to know Jesus personally, but I can’t control that. A lot of questions are hypotheticals like this. There aren’t any right or wrong answers, but the answers speak a lot about us as people. Sometimes, I think that makes it harder- you can’t study, you never know if you’re right or if your answer is acceptable, it just is.
We are almost done our home study now. Our social worker has to make some phone calls, meet with some references, and then type it all up. After it’s typed up, she will submit it and then we wait for approval! The hope is to be home study approved and ready for matching by Halloween!
I have finished our photo book to send to the agency for birth parents to look at, and I’m just waiting for my design to be approved so I can order it.
Basically, we are done! We are just waiting for everything to be approved and then we can start waiting. Our social worker said to expect a 2 year wait.
As always, keeps us in prayer!